


Seasick

by Agmir



Series: Seasick [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angry Thorin, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Khuzdul Dirty Talk, Loving Thorin, Reader Insert, Thorin's eyes are pretty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-03
Updated: 2014-02-06
Packaged: 2018-01-11 00:03:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 7,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1166213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Agmir/pseuds/Agmir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story is an alternate reality that takes place after the Battle of Five Armies.  "You" are Thorin's wife and the Queen of Erebor.  Your relationship with Thorin is going through some growing pains and as a major complication arises, you begin to wonder if being his queen was such a good idea after all.</p><p>Yeah, there's a little smut too, with some dirty talk in Khuzdul... because dirty talk in Khuzdul is, well, pretty hot.</p><p>**Note:<br/>Epilogue added as a 14th chapter.  I have more related to this story that I'm currently working on, but that will be in another part.  Thanks for reading! :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

You ran your fingers across the heavy rock of the balcony’s balustrade. The chill of the night air had begun to set in, but you didn’t want to go back into the room. The chill felt soothing against the roar of your seasick stomach. The ocean below you seemed to understand the tumult inside of you, and the waves seemed to crash harder against the shore in response.

You wondered when he would come back. It’d been six days now that he had gone off in the morning, taking care of royal affairs and then disappearing to… where? You had no idea. His newfound habit of waking before you and going back to bed long after you had gone to sleep was getting worrisome.

You knew dwarven men, especially Durinsfolk, were loyal to a fault. It’d be unheard of to look at another in that kind of way once one was committed, but you still felt uneasy. It’d been thirteen days since he had touched you. After a whirlwind four months of marriage and his wanting you every night, you knew something was amiss.

“M’lady?”

You quickly turned, slightly agitated by the intrusion yet welcoming the company. It was Drin, your lady-in-waiting and best friend. 

“It’s supper in the Hall, don’t forget. You look ill; is something distressing you?”

You contemplated telling her about your worries, but in seeing her rushed expression you knew you’d just better get dressed and get to the hall in time. 

“It’s nothing. Just not fully acquainted to this lifestyle, I suppose.”

She gave you a knowing look and helped you pull up your gown. The history of you two went back to when you were little girls, playing in the dirt and learning which minerals were valuable. That of course, was before the dragon. Back then, you were the daughter of an ax-smithy, and your father worked for King Thrain. While it was an admirable position to have, you were most definitely middle class, and any thoughts of marrying the prince were just silly. And your father did so much, staying behind as you fled with your mother…

A tremor shook through you as you remembered that day and the hard times that followed. The sudden tightness of your dress brought you back to reality.

“Drin, can you loosen this a little? I can barely breathe!”

“It’s as loose as it can get,” she replied. “Maybe this royal lifestyle is showing on you,” she winked.


	2. Chapter 2

You headed for the hall, still in awe of the luxuriant beauty of the winding corridors, even though you had walked them many times already. Gold lined the space where the wall met the floor, and your slippers caught a little on the rich, heavy rugs beneath your feet. Torches on the walls lit the dim passageways, revealing ornate carvings with inscriptions.

As you came closer, the smell of wine and cooked deliciousness invaded your nose, and your stomach lurched both in delight and repulsion. You must really be hungry, you thought.

You found your place at the head table. Everyone was eating already, with loud boisterous conversation punctuated by hearty laughter. Thorin was noticeably absent. He had been late a few times this week, but since Dain had been visiting for a fortnight, he had let him take over the dinner proceedings. Balin was sitting two seats away, so you leaned over to ask where Thorin was.

“Nobody has seen ‘im today, my queen,” he said. He glanced over his shoulder, then said, “We thought he was with you.”

You snorted a little and turned back to your food. 'Yeah right,' you thought. 'Not lately, at least.' Suddenly the sight of your food had the room spinning. You wanted to get up and run back to your room, but you knew that you probably wouldn’t make it. You took a bite of some potatoes and forced them down.

As soon as you made up your mind to go back to your quarters and take a hot bath and sleep off whatever this virus was that had your head spinning, the room quieted. The King had arrived.

He looked particularly handsome in his dark blue robes as he made his way to the seat next to yours. He waved everyone on to keep eating, sat down and glanced at you. As the long hall filled back up with conversation, you looked at him questioningly. He kissed your hand, averted your eyes and began to eat.

What was his problem? You didn’t want to be paranoid, but his behavior was starting to irk you.

Another wave of nausea hit, and you knew there was no way you’d make it through dinner.

“I – need to go. I’m – ill,” was all you could muster to Thorin as you shakily stood up. He looked up at you, concerned.

He steadied you, called for Drin to help you back and looked into your eyes. The icy blueness of them made your breath hitch a little. They always did.

“I won’t stay long,” he said quietly. There was something different in those eyes, a tenderness you never saw before. You were kind of annoyed that it took your getting sick for him to want to spend time with you again. You wanted to say something more, but another wave of sickness hit you and Drin was now taking your arm and leading you away.


	3. Chapter 3

You lay on your side and groaned. You felt awful. Even Drin looked a little worried, and she left to find some herbs that might make you feel better.

The fire crackling was soothing to you, and you recalled your many nights with Thorin in this bed. His dark hair falling over you and the way he moved in you, so rough and yet so loving. The way his eyes filled with lust and need for you, and how he teased you and denied you until just the right moment. And then there was the way the sunlight streamed in through the balcony doorway in the morning, falling just so on the bed where you both lay and drawing attention to the scars on his bare chest and arms. You’d always wake up before him, and you’d admire his sturdy frame and his perfect face.

Your marriage was an arranged one, but you found yourself quite smitten with him from the first night. He intrigued you; he was a possessive and dominating lover, and yet every moment he seemed to devote purely to your pleasure.

Except this week had been different.

Did he regret it all? Did you do something to anger him? The whole arrangement had been an unlikely one anyway. After Smaug had come, your father stayed behind to retrieve a few things and to help any last survivors to escape. You were young enough to not fully understand what was happening, but old enough to vividly remember the terror of that day. You had nightmares for years. After news of your father's death came, you and your mother had moved in with Drin’s family, helping out with cooking and cleaning while Drin’s mother went to various markets to sell the wares forged by her husband. Those were hard years, but you and Drin grew ever closer, and your childhood with her was a happy one.

When the Lonely Mountain was reclaimed by Thorin, your little blended family packed up with the myriads of other families to go home once more. Myriads… that’s why you still couldn’t believe you were picked. Granted, the men far outnumber the females in Dwarven society, but there had to be at least a hundred of you girls at that dinner. 

The dinner was actually held in Kili’s* honor, with the intention of finding him a wife. Thorin had already declared he had no intention of marrying. He considered Kili and Fili to be his sister-sons and therefore heirs, and that was good enough for him. He had no need for children of his own, and so no need for a queen. Most of the girls had their sights set on Kili (and Fili too) anyway. You on the other hand, had no desire to even be there. In fact, you had never seen Thorin, Kili or Fili before, and you just wanted get settled back into your home and find a guy on your own.

Then everything changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I know there is conflicting information in Tolkien's work and outside of his work as to which of the brothers is the eldest. I picked Kili, as he has always seemed the older one to me. :)


	4. Chapter 4

You didn’t notice Drin return as you were lost in a reverie of the night you met Thorin. 

You rolled over and opened your eyes, and you saw her preparing a weird paste in a bowl, with a sprig of saffron root sitting next to it on the table. She had an especially concerned look on her face, which you thought was rather odd. You just had a little virus or perhaps ate something bad.

“Open your mouth,” she commanded. You did, and she broke off a piece of the root and put it under your tongue. “Keep that there for a little while,” she said.

You looked at her questioningly as you forced yourself to keep the root in your mouth. It was bitter and it took everything you had in you to keep from barfing all over the bed.

She sat down and looked at you quizzically without saying anything more. A moment later, she put her hand out and you pulled out the root and handed it to her.

“Purple,” she said gravely.

“What’s purple?” you asked. “Am I really that sick?” 

“The root. It’s purple. You’re not sick at all. You’re… pregnant.”

A dark wave of dread washed over you. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Thorin didn’t want children because children meant Kili would no longer be heir to the throne. Thorin never wanted a wife. He had wanted you and you were the exception, but that was it. No children were to ever be in the picture.

The room started spinning again and you fell back into your pillow, groaning. 

“Drin, what will I do? What will Thorin think? Does he suspect something? Is that why he’s been so absent?” The questions tumbled out of you and Drin just looked you with that same unnerving, worried face.

“Thorin will be coming back from the hall soon,” she said. “Do you want me to stay with you until he gets here?”

You just wanted to be left alone, so you shook your head. She gave you a glass of ginger-root water and kissed your cheek before she left; a Dwarven gesture reserved only for serious matters like funerals or weddings.*

You woozily pulled yourself up out of bed and slowly made your way to the balcony. The cool night air would help, maybe.

 

You sat there staring into the dark for what felt like an eternity, hot tears streaming down your face.

 

“Sanazyunguh,** please don’t cry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I made that up.
> 
> **"My (true) love" in Khuzdul.


	5. Chapter 5

You had no idea how long Thorin was watching you, but you suddenly felt very vulnerable with him in the doorway like that.

He wrapped his arms around you and they felt very warm in the cold air. He wiped one of your tears away with his thumb before pulling back from you.

“I have not been as attentive as I should be,” he said softly, though there was something a little dark in his voice.

You reached for him to be close to you again, but he stayed where he was. You wondered if he knew. Drin wouldn’t have told anyone, would she?

You tried to find the words, any words, but you found yourself completely speechless. Your cheeks began to flush and you felt another wave of nausea welling up inside, only this time it demanded to come out and you found yourself retching over the side of the stone edge.

Thorin looked alarmed and steadied you as you sat back down again. You knew at this point it was probably totally obvious to him. You were puking, crying, and you had even gained a little bit of weight. The nausea hadn’t come until today, but he must have noticed things were different.

“Is this why?” you demanded. “Is this why you seem so repelled by me?”

“Repelled?” he asked, an angry tone in his voice. He looked shocked, the hurt in his eyes making you instantly feel bad for using that word. You knew he took his dwarven loyalty to you seriously, and any insinuation of being disloyal in any way was a stab to the heart.

“Repelled? That is what you think I am?” this time the hurt in his voice made your heart break.

He turned from you and looked out into the darkness.

“I’m sorry,” you said quietly. “Not repelled.”

You weren’t sure if you should go to him or not, so you stayed where you were sitting. You were kind of afraid to move again anyway, since moving might mean another wave of sickness.

“Do you know?” you asked after a while.

“I do not, but I fear it,” he said, turning to face you. 

His eyes were dark and his face very solemn. So he didn’t know. Your throat began to tighten with anxiety, and you felt like you’d almost rather jump over the stone wall than tell him now.

“I,” you began. “Am not sick.”

He looked at you totally confused. You couldn’t bring yourself to say it, so you pulled him closer, the tears welling up in your eyes again.


	6. Chapter 6

His eyes searched yours, the blue of them deep and tumultuous like the ocean. He drew his heavy arms around you, and you took his hand. You softly kissed it and then brought it down to your belly. You definitely weren’t big enough yet to show through your dress, but there was a puffy firmness there now that wasn’t there a week ago.

His eyes trailed down to his hand and then shot up to yours. He now understood.

He pulled away in shock, his anger growing in his eyes.

“Khi mahuznari sulel!!”* he roared. 

He leaned over the other side of the balcony, seething into the wind that was now starting to pick up. His hair you so loved to run your fingers through now whipped around him in angry lashes.

The words stung you. You knew he’d be upset, but you’d never experienced his wrath firsthand like this before. You were frozen. You couldn’t believe that a few short months ago you were there, back at that dinner, that night your whole life changed.

Your mother had insisted that you and Drin go, despite both Fili and Kili being a bit younger than you. You both laughed and rolled your eyes, citing the chances of becoming a future queen were probably next to none. After living in poverty for so long, just about any dwarven girl of age would be there. 

You and Drin had only really stayed for the wine. Oh, and the food. You’d never eaten food like that before, even before the dragon had come. What you didn’t notice were his eyes on you, at least at first. You had just finished laughing from a joke Drin had told you, and you glanced up to see those blue eyes staring intently right at you from across the room. They seemed to pierce right through you, into the depths of your soul. His dark, tall figure was commanding and slightly intimidating. He must have been almost as tall as a human! He stood at the edge of the large, loud hall with his eyes on you. His heavy, embossed robes told you he was a member of the royal court, but his dark and serious countenance and strands of grey told you he was not Kili or Fili.

His eyes had lingered on you a little longer before he left through one of the heavy doors, and you shuddered a little, suddenly feeling very self-conscious. You and Drin didn’t stay much longer after that. As you made your way towards the exit, you couldn’t help but feel both slightly offended at the way he had been staring, and yet a strange desire began to fill you, wanting more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *"This will destroy everything!" in Khuzdul.


	7. Chapter 7

You forget how exactly you lost Drin as you two made your way through the winding corridors to go home. Somewhere along the line she had to pee and you got bored waiting for her, and both of you were a bit tipsy from the wine. You ended up in a large space filled with beautiful tapestries and enormous columns. Yep, you definitely took a wrong turn. A smaller room off to the side with a few candles lit caught your eye, and you made your way over to it.

The walls were lined with books from floor to ceiling, and there was a heavy, ornate table in the middle with a very old map sitting on top. You didn’t see anyone inside, so you walked up to the vast open-air windows and gasped at the view.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” a deep voice startled you.

It was him. The one with those blue eyes that had been looking at you. 

“I, I’m sorry- I’ll leave now,” you stammered, incredibly embarrassed to have been caught there.

“No need to go, unless you are a burglar," he chuckled a little. "What is your name, mahganagul agrifininh?”*

You don’t really remember much else other than telling him your name and making sure he knew you weren’t a burglar before you were ushered out by a guard. At one point you actually called him “Khagholel’izugh”** in an attempt to be funny, which only made you cringe when you remembered it the next day. That royal wine apparently brought out quite the sense of humor in you. It was a miracle you managed to get home that night.

And then there was that next day. You woke up to a very large bag sitting in the main room, with your mother and Drin and Drin’s parents staring at it in awe. It was filled with rubies, sapphires and emeralds. The note attached was asking for you by name. That brooding, tall figure had been Thorin, the king, and he was asking for your hand. You would have thought it was a joke, only that bag of jewels was not kidding. You knew that if you accepted, it would mean your mother and Drin’s parents would be set for life. You loved them, and you watched them struggle in poverty to provide for you girls all your lives.

 

“Khagholel’izugh,” you sighed aloud, suddenly coming back into the moment. Thorin was still leaning over the edge of the balcony, and anxiety began to rise in your chest again.

He slowly turned to face you, his eyes still angry though softening.

“Mahganagul agrifininh,” he replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *"Pretty thief" in Khuzdul
> 
> **"Bluest of blue eyes" in Khuzdul
> 
>  
> 
> By the way, feel free to correct me if you know Khuzdul- I'm still a novice and still learning the correct tenses for the words. :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the smut, complete with some Khuzdul dirty talk. You've been warned. Enjoy!

He wrapped his arms around you again, one hand trailing to your belly. That angry look in his eyes now gave way to tender worry, and he kissed your neck softly. You knew he couldn’t resist you, no matter how angry he was. A dwarf’s loyalty to his spouse trumped all other things.

The lack of touch for the last thirteen days had starved you for him, and you reached up to caress that familiar prickly beard, trailing down to that same old scar on the side of his throat and then back up to that familiar tangle of black hair. How you had missed him!

He seemed to sense this, and he responded by kissing you deeply, hard, and you came up gasping slightly for air.

The nausea that had been welling inside of you now gave way to a growing, deep longing.

He kissed you again, harder this time, his hands trailing to the curve of your breasts as they peeked from the top of your bodice. The hormones had caused them to grow a little too large for that dress, and they seemed to ignite a fire in Thorin as he noticed this.

“Abbad,”* he whispered huskily in your ear, kissing its tender edge.

You left small bites and kisses on his neck in return, the salty-sweet smell of him causing that deep longing to grow between your thighs. You wanted the taste and smell of him all over your body.

He lifted you effortlessly and carried you to the bed, accosting your neck and throat again with his gruff, bearded kisses. He untied the back of your bodice in one movement, and gently pulled your dress down.

The bodice that had grown a little too tight had contained you, but now you felt both a sense of relief and an immense soreness in your breasts from the sudden lack of support.

Thorin pulled back to take in the sight of you in just your underwear, and you could see the bulging spot in his pants. His eyes were dark with a feverish lust that reminded you of your first night together.

“Mahal, I see my mark upon you has been made,” he growled, the intensity of his anger from before now turning into passion. 

With your heavy dress off, you could feel how wet you had become, and you could feel that wetness pooling down, soaking your underwear and dampening the furs beneath you. Thorin saw this too, let out a small moan and leaned in to pull off your panties.

He briefly glided his thumb over your sensitive spot, and then stopped. You whimpered for more.

As his mouth came back to that spot, you groaned a little… it had been so long and his flicking tongue felt so good, so much so that you were almost over the edge, but then he stopped again. You let out another whimper, and he cocked an amused eyebrow at you.

You tugged at his shirt, implying he pull it off. He laid back down over you, bare-chested, and you could feel his erection pushing between your thighs through his pants. He kissed you deeply and roughly again, though being careful not to lay all of his weight on you.

“Please…” you whimpered, desperate to feel him inside of you already. 

He now looked you in the eye, hesitantly asking permission to go on. This was not like him… usually he was far more dominating and had you begging for pleasure. You couldn’t understand why he seemed to be holding back.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said softly.

You pulled yourself out from under him and loosened the laces of his pants. A wet spot had grown there from where your sex had been against him. As he pulled his pants off, you leaned in and held his heavy shaft in your hands. You flicked the tip of his cock with your tongue, teasing him.

“Tal khi…”** he groaned, his eyes growing even darker with desire.

You ran your tongue along his shaft two times, eliciting another husky groan from him before plunging the whole tip in your mouth. As you moved up and down, his pleasure grew and he stopped you before he could finish.

“You first,” he said softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *"I am here" in Khuzdul
> 
> **"Lick it" in Khuzdul


	9. Chapter 9

He pulled you up closer to him, and you found yourself straddling him. He kissed you deeply and you began to rub your sex on his thick shaft as his kisses trailed down your neck and across your collarbone.

“Mahzayungma,”(1) you commanded, and this lit a fire in him. You could tell he was hesitant to unleash himself on you, but you knew full well you could take it. You needed the release after thirteen long days (and nights) without him.

“Mednu ni… yadi,”(2) you begged, your voice low and with each syllable punctuated by need.

He let out a throaty sigh, finally giving in to his desires and guiding himself into you, and you slowly let yourself slide down his shaft, feeling every inch of him. The hormones and extra blood rushing down into your parts made you even more sensitive and tighter than ever around him, and he hit that spot inside of you in just the right way.

He leaned back, feeling that tightness and drew in one long shaky breath as you slowly began to ride him.

“Mahal, tarukhi zu…”(3) he moaned, pulling you even closer while you continued to ride him, allowing him to reach even deeper within you.

As you increased speed, you began to feel your pleasure well up as your inner walls tightened around his girth. At this point, he cupped one of your breasts, the soreness of their new state causing both pain and pleasure for you.

“Mal ayabarirzu!”(4) he commanded, which sent you over the edge and you moaned loudly, waves of sparkling pleasure shooting through your body.

Seeing you in that state only fueled Thorin more as he reached his climax and pumped into you harder, one, two three more times before moaning out.

“Mahal, malel! Ugmazh azyungel!”(5) he uttered, before collapsing back into the pillows beneath him, pulling you down with him.

 

 

Your eyes were completely closed and you almost fell asleep there in his arms when he suddenly got up out of the bed, reaching for his pants. He didn’t see your eyes open, but you watched him as he got dressed in the candlelight, silently infuriated that he was leaving again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) "Make love to me"  
> (2) "Enter me... please"  
> (3) "Mahal, I need you..."  
> (4) "Come for me!" (Literally, "explode with sparkles and pleasure")  
> (5) "Mahal, pleasure of pleasures! Wildest love!"
> 
> All of these are in Khuzdul, of course.


	10. Chapter 10

You sat there for a few moments, hoping he was just stepping out briefly and that he’d be back. When it was obvious he wasn’t coming back, you grew angry. How could he just leave you like that? 

‘I’ll follow him,’ you thought. You had to find out where he was going.

You slipped into your nightgown and slippers, threw on your robe, and headed out with a small candle. Which way did he go? The long corridor leading to the dining hall was to the right, and a series of sleeping quarters was to your left. He wouldn’t be in the dining hall; any leftover food would have been cleaned up or given away by now. You hadn't ventured to the left at all since you came to live in the Royal Quarters of the mountain… 

A small shiver ran down your back and you chose left. The hall was so dark. Dain and his men were in some of these rooms, but you knew that other than them, they were mostly empty. Drin had explored a few of them and had described how many of them were still covered in a thick coat of dust, having never been cleaned or slept in since pre-Smaug days. Before you came to live with Thorin, you had even heard stories of dwarves dying in their last fight in some of these halls, their bodies still clutching their axes, forever on guard.

Another shiver ran through you. Surely these were just tales intended for spooky fun, right?

As you walked a little further, the flickering light of your candle picked up another corridor coming off to the right. This one had torches lit every so often. Did he go down this way?

You took this corridor, glad to be out of the darkness (dim as this one was), and you blew out your small candle in order to preserve it. You walked a little faster, confident in being able to see your step better now. You wanted to catch up with Thorin.

This one was long. You hoped you were headed in the right direction. A sense of dread started to creep up as you looked behind you and became aware of the fact that you could now neither see where you had entered the corridor nor where the corridor ended. You started to realize that you had no idea where you were within the castle, or in the whole mountain for that matter.

Still, you had to find out where he went.

The corridor came to a sharp turn to the right and got so low you had to duck a little. Good thing you weren’t wearing a heavy dress with that torch lit on the wall!

The passage suddenly opened up and you found yourself in a very dirty-looking hallway, dimly lit with the same sporadic torches. The walls here had no ornate carvings and the stone floor was bare and looked like it hadn’t been swept in ages. Did you wander out of the Royal Quarters?

Just then you heard what sounded like a shuffle. You squinted hard and realized someone was moving farther down the passage, though you couldn’t make them out in the dim lighting. Was that Thorin?

You moved faster now, fearing it wasn’t actually him and that you were only getting yourself even more lost. ‘How embarrassing,’ you thought. ‘The queen lost in her own kingdom!’ You smiled, thinking of how typical that would be of you.

 

As you got closer, you saw that the figure had now stopped, and you realized a conversation was going on. There was someone else!


	11. Chapter 11

You crept closer, staying in the shadows and careful not to make any noises. Was this Thorin? Who was he talking to? Were these just two guards? You’d feel really silly being the queen and getting caught creeping up on a couple of guards in the middle of the night like this.

You crept even closer, and to both your relief and anxiety you saw it was Thorin. Who was he talking to? You hid behind a piece of heavy stone column to listen to what they were saying. 

You could barely make out Thorin's words. His deep voice seemed to be absorbed by the rock around him and you couldn’t hear much.

“Aysithi… ra… … mahwîhyedi…”* were the only words you could understand clearly.

You couldn’t believe it. Were you really hearing him right? Did he really feel like taking you for a wife was a mistake? A wave of fury washed over you as you recalled how this whole thing was Thorin’s idea. Sure, you loved him now (which was why these words stung so badly) but your marriage was basically a trade of jewels for you between your mother and him. He, of course, had insisted the jewels were a gift, meant to display the sincerity of his interest in you and nothing more. But you knew full well that no dwarf, however rich or royal, would so willingly part with such jewels unless he expected something in return. You felt duped. How could he just toss you around like that? This was very much against the morals of dwarves, even for a king.

They started moving and you followed, keeping enough distance so your footsteps would not be heard. A bald head was illumined by a torch and you realized he was walking with Dwalin.

They disappeared around a corner and through a doorway and you now saw you had come to the forges. If you continued on, you would surely be seen. Even though it was late, there were many dwarves who liked to work on through the night, and you could hear their collective hammering and firing down the corridor. You stood in the shadows for a few moments, trying to decide if you should confront him or just go back. Since you were now in the forges that were so familiar to you as a child, you knew how to get back to your mother’s home from there. 'Ha, you knew how to get anywhere from here,' you thought. You wondered how she would react to you showing up at her door at this hour.

A wave of nausea quickly crept up again, and you tried to hold it in. ‘Come on, not now!’ you thought. It didn’t want to stay down and you ducked into the nearest dark room, barfing into a metal pot.

“Who’s there? Nror, are you drunk again?” a voice bellowed.

You froze. This was not the way to get caught while you were stalking your husband. A portly, redheaded dwarf peeked his fat nose inside the doorway and grunted.

“Go home, Nror!” he chuckled and then shuffled away.

You breathed a sigh of relief, but realized you were very close to the room Thorin had disappeared into. You figured by this point you had a higher likelihood of being seen now no matter what you did, so you might as well go in and see him. You had so many questions for him anyway.

You cautiously slipped out of the room and drew an anxious breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *"To take a wife... and... ...mistake..." in Khuzdul


	12. Chapter 12

You took a few uncertain steps toward the doorway as the anxiety welled up in your chest and throat.

The heat of the furnace hit your skin like wildfire and your eyes began to feel a little dried out. Dwalin had apparently left. Thorin was in the far corner with his back to you, sweat glistening on the bare skin of his back and shoulders. ‘Mahal, he really is so handsome,’ you thought to yourself. The way his dark hair tumbled over the muscles of his shoulders as he hammered on something made your breath catch a little.

You stood there a moment, unsure of yourself. These old rooms brought back so many memories of being a child again and visiting your father. It felt so good to see them alive again with heat, hammering and creation. You swelled a little with pride, knowing how hard your father had worked here, earning quite a name for your family. Seeing Thorin hammering away here was a bittersweet feeling, as it made you miss your dad a little, but he grew all the more attractive to you as you watched him work so intently.

He turned, glanced up, and then his eyes shot up to yours as he realized you had been standing there.

“Why are you here?” his voice seemed a little agitated.

“Why am I here? How about why are YOU here?” you retorted.

“I thought you were asleep,” he replied. “I didn’t want to wake you, and I needed to finish something here.”

Your anger welled up and Thorin could see it in your eyes. After all, you could be capable of that same fiery Dwarven temper too.

Not wanting to start an argument, he continued to hammer, but stopped when you put your hands on your hips to show you wouldn’t tolerate it. You wanted an explanation for why he kept leaving, and you wanted to know what he had said to Dwalin. Heck, you wanted to know if he even loved you anymore.

“I will talk to Kili. We can arrange something,” he said gruffly.

You’d forgotten all about Kili and the accession order, so it took you a moment to understand what he was referring to. Actually, you were feeling so worn out and so annoyed at his leaving again that by this point you had forgotten all else.

“Oh, that,” you replied.

“Doesn’t that make you happy?” he asked, a tinge of anger in his voice. “What other choice do I have? I cannot break a promise for unforeseen circumstances. You do not break promises made to your kin.”

“I thought you said everything was ruined,” you replied flatly.

He sighed angrily and slammed his hammer down on the heavy table in front of him, drawing a slight crack in the wood. You would have been more afraid, but you started to choke back another wave of nausea, clenching your stomach and putting a hand to your mouth.

His eyes softened a little as he watched you compose yourself. Seeing him watch you like that only made you inexplicably more angry. 

“Why did you tell Dwalin it was a mistake to marry me?” you demanded.

He looked at you with a confused face and then smiled a little, any anger from before now melting away.

“My agrifininh,” he chuckled. “Mahganagul agrifininh. You followed us, didn’t you?”*

You blushed at being so obvious, but you were still angry at being called a mistake.

“Dwalin wants to get married,” he said, very amusedly. “I told him to pick the right one and don’t make any mistakes.”

You suddenly felt really silly and looked down at your feet. Thorin took your hand and looked at your face.

“Why did you come here?” he asked.

“I want to know why you keep leaving,” you replied, still looking down and with tears starting to spring up in your eyes now.

 

“Come,” he said after a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *"Mahganagul agrifininh" means pretty thief in Khuzdul.


	13. Chapter 13

After walking through what felt like miles of corridors and passageways, he led you up a winding, uneven stairwell. It was pitch-black and from the thick, heavy dust in the air, you could tell it hadn’t been walked through in ages. You gripped his arm a little harder. Your slippers felt a bit inadequate on the rough rock, and you feared a sharp stone or nail might rip through them.

Thorin slowed, and then pulled you close to his side as the passage widened.

“My mother used to take me here,” he whispered. 

He pushed open a half-rotted wooden door, its creak a sharp contrast to the soft whisper that was just in your ear before.

You silently gasped as you stepped through the doorway. The sight was breathtaking. You must have been on the very top of the mountain! The sky was an endless canopy of stars, and you felt as though you could reach up and touch every one. ‘This must be how the Fathers of the Dwarves felt in seeing the sky as they woke up for the first time,’ you thought.

The walls around you glowed a soft blue hue and gave way to a small waterfall on your right. Beyond that, you could make out the rolling hills and mountains far off in the dark distance.

The starlight made the little waterfall seem a glittery dance, and Thorin led you to a spot near it.

Now that you could see him in the soft light, you noticed he had been carrying something wrapped in cloth and strapped around his shoulder. He pulled you closer as you both sat down, and you marveled at the stars together. The blue of his eyes seemed to radiate and reflect back flickers of stardust as he looked up.

It was quite some time before he pulled out what he had brought with him. As he handed it to you, you noticed the soot and calluses on his fingers. He watched you intently as you unwrapped it.

You couldn’t believe what you were staring at.

It was a dwarfling’s axe. These were given to children when they became a certain age for practicing with. As a training axe, it was not made to be as sharp as an adult’s, but it could still wield a hefty blow.

But this wasn’t just any dwarfling’s axe. This one had your father’s symbol on it, with your initials carved on the blunt end of the blade.

Tears sprang to your eyes as you realized that this was the axe your father had started making for you so long ago. He never got to finish it.

“This is what you’ve been doing?” you asked him, incredulously.

“Your father was one of the best axe-smithies among Durin’s folk. It took me a long time to finish it to the standards he would have wanted it,” he explained.

You knew Thorin was quite skilled himself, so this was a high compliment.

“Thank you… I…” you were speechless and so incredibly touched by the kindness of this gesture. You knew that properly finishing this wasn’t an easy task, and you marveled that what would have taken an average axe-smithy at least two months only took him little more than a week. And to have found the unfinished piece among all of the rubble left behind by Smaug! You knew the area where your father worked was the place he had tried to return to in order to grab what little he could and to protect the dwarfs who were still trapped in there. This very axe was probably one of the things he had tried to salvage.

As you ran your finger over the handle and admired the intricate detail, Thorin turned it upside down in your hands to reveal another carved inscription:

“Mukhuh Mahal bakhuz murukhzu, Kuzdithul Durin”*

 

"You carved this tonight?" you asked.

“Tadadun muhudel,”** Thorin said softly, smiling. You leaned your head on his shoulder and you two watched the stars for a little while longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *"May Mahal's hammer shield you, Child of Durin," in Khuzdul  
> **"To be a father is the greatest blessing," in Khuzdul


	14. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a birth scene. I tried not to make it gory or too graphic, but it's still a birth scene. Just wanted to warn you!

You woke out of a deep sleep, an unbearable pain coursing through your body in one jagged wave.

It was happening.

You nudged Thorin as he groggily sighed and turned over in the bed.

“…mahfurukhi…,”* was all you managed to get out before another contraction came crashing through you, sawing its way through even stronger now.

He quickly sprang up, now wild-eyed.

“I’ll get Drin!” he exclaimed before running out.

You managed to pull yourself up and turn over onto your elbows and knees. For some reason this position made the contractions a little more bearable. As another one came ripping through, you clutched the furs on the bed and wailed through the pain until it passed.

Drin and three more lady-dwarves burst through the door, carrying various objects designed to aid in the process. You knew they were some of the best midwives in Erebor. One of them had even delivered both Kili and Fili, coming to Dis’ aid while in exile.

You moaned loudly as the intense pain coursed through you again. One of the midwives gave you a cold wet cloth to bite down on. 

Thorin stood in the corner of the room and looked at you terrified. You’d never seen him that way before. One of the midwives ushered him out, saying that this was ladies’ business and that he ought to go to the hall and get something to eat. You wanted him to stay, but you couldn’t utter anything as another wave of agony ripped through again.

Two of them pulled you off the bed and Drin and the third midwife spread a giant, tanned hide over it.

“Don’t want to get the bed messy,” one of them chuckled.

You were not in the mood for jokes. You glared at her as another wave of pain engulfed you, and you bit down on the cloth again.

Three hours of this passed by, and you were growing exhausted. One of the midwives had offered you some water and something light to eat, saying that this could take as long as a couple of days. You refused to believe you could be in this kind of pain for that long.

One of the midwives suggested that if you walked around the room, it might speed up the process. Eager to get this over with, you agreed and began to hobble around with her help.

You did an hour of this, plus another hour in the bathtub of warm water. You felt a change in the contractions; the pain now had a deeper origin to it and you felt this incredible need to push. You managed to convey this through the pain, and the midwives got excited. They helped you up onto the bed and instructed you on how to bear down.

You did this for nearly an hour, and nothing. You became a little worried as the midwives began to pull out various instruments. They talked in hushed voices so as not to alarm you, but you could tell that they were beginning to worry too.

Just then Drin came through the door, having gone out to eat something earlier. She had an amused look on her face, unaware that your pushing had not been yielding any results.

 

“He’s been sitting outside of that door this whole time,” she chuckled.

Glad for the distraction, the second midwife, the one who had delivered Kili and Fili, piped up.

“Let’s let him in,” she suggested, obviously a little amused by this. “He’s hearing everything that’s going on anyway!”

Drin opened the door, and Thorin sheepishly made his way to the edge of the bed, his eyes on you the whole time. Another wave of pain hit and you reached for him, glad for his company.

You managed to pull yourself forward with his help and got onto your knees. He held you steady by the elbows, and as you looked into his blue eyes you felt a renewed sense of strength.

As another contraction ripped through you, you gripped his shoulders and he unflinchingly kept his eyes locked on yours. You knew your fingers were digging hard into his flesh, but it didn’t seem to bother him.

The second midwife had had her hands on your hips, supporting you. She now checked you and declared, “Progress!”

The other midwives and Drin crowded around the bed. As another wave of pain welled up, you pushed hard with your eyes still locked on Thorin’s. His grip tightened as yours did, and you could see the fear in his eyes, but he never broke that contact. 

The room around you was now brightening, and you knew the sun was starting to rise.

You drew a great valor from those eyes, and a fierce, gritty fortitude took over you. You pushed harder and harder, beginning to feel an incredible burn sear its way through your pelvis and radiate up into your back and down your legs.

“The head! Lots of hair!” a midwife cried out.

Two more pushes and an immense sense of relief coursed through your veins, and you collapsed into Thorin’s arms.

The baby cried and all four ladies fussed around, cleaning it and checking to make sure it was healthy.

“A girl!” one exclaimed, and she gently placed the baby in your arms.

 

* * *

 

The midwives and Drin had all left, and the sun was now fully in the sky. Thorin smiled and lightly ran a finger over the baby’s soft black hair.

She was perfect. One of her pointy ears looked a little smooshed, but that was normal and it would even out in the next day or two. Her sweet little face had endured little red marks on the way out, and you knew that that too was normal.

“Her battle scars, like daddy,” Thorin remarked, a great sense of pride in his voice.

Thorin now took her, holding her close to his chest and beaming down at her. She began to fall asleep and you felt your eyes growing heavy too. You stretched your legs out in the bed, feeling very sore and exhausted. You rested your head in his lap next to her soft, blanketed feet. He smiled and whispered down at you.

“Bukhubhur agrifininh,”** he said, placing a hand gently on the side of your face. You sighed contentedly and drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *"Baby is coming" (Literally "giving birth")  
> **"Courageous thief"
> 
> All in Khuzdul


End file.
